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Samplers Since 1675 Cross Stitch Pattern
Samplers Since 1675 cross stitch pattern
Samplers Since 1675 Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch samplers have been around for hundreds of years, some embroidery samplers have been recovered from Egyptian burial grounds that are dated from the 14th and 15th centuries. Traditionally they were used as a reference of various stitches a young woman would learn, and later became a way to “ensure” she would be able to adorn household items with names (so items came back from a common wash day to the right household), and to add decorative effects to various items of clothing and domestic furnishings. They became a way to “measure a woman’s worth,” which of course in modern times is incomprehensible. Putting a cheeky twist on the beautiful and sometimes “strained” history of samplers (as shown by this viral spoof on a traditional sampler), the Samplers Since 1675 cross stitch pattern is sure to beautifully adorn your home while continuing the very long lineage of creating samplers.

 

This pattern is also available in the Get Sampled cross stitch pattern set.

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Santa's Little Ho cross stitch pattern
Santa's Little Ho cross stitch pattern
Santa’s Little Ho Cross Stitch Pattern

Know someone who made the naughty list? Tell them, “Way to go!” with the cheeky Santa’s Little Ho cross stitch pattern.

 

If you’re feeling super “cheery” this season, the entire set of Merry Snarkmas cross stitch patterns can be purchased for a 25% discount from the individual pattern prices. 

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Santa's Watching You cross stitch pattern
Santa's Watching You cross stitch pattern
Santa’s Watching You Cross Stitch Pattern

Don’t fall asleep in an unflattering pose right before Christmas. That creepy old St. Nick might get the wrong impression of you. Then again, maybe you’ll entertain him and get what you really want on your list. Remind yourself to stay “on guard” at this special time of year with the cheeky Santa’s Watching You cross stitch pattern.

 

If you’re feeling super “festive” this season, the entire set of Merry Snarkmas cross stitch patterns can be purchased for a 25% discount from the individual pattern prices. 

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Sassy Sweets SAL cross stitch pattern set
Lick Me cross stitch pattern
Sassy Sweets Cross Stitch Pattern Set

If you missed out on the Sassy Sweets SAL, have no fear! All three cheeky cross stitch patterns are available as this fun set. Whether you’ve got a serious sweet tooth or you’re a professional smart ass, the Sassy Sweets cross stitch pattern set will keep you laughing. This set includes the Lick Me pattern, Suck It, and the deliciously snarky F*cks Given Today. If the text isn’t to your taste for the patterns, you could add in your own text with any of the cross stitch alphabet charts.

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She Betta Don't cross stitch pattern
She Betta Don't cross stitch pattern
She Betta Don’t Cross Stitch Pattern

If you’ve ever caught yourself slaving away on some completely inane task like sweeping up after the kids for what feels like the fifteenth time that day, and think your life has turned into being the perennial fixer/cleaner/etc of everyone else’s life, stop and take a breath mama. The She Betta Don’t cross stitch pattern is a play on the phrase “oh no she betta don’t” popularized in drag culture, it loosely means “oh no she’d better not [do xyz].” Don’t beat up on yourself for doing what you need to do for yourself and your family, don’t get down or disheartened, and remember that you are a fierce strong woman who rules her world. As the queens would say, “You are sickening mamaaaa,” aka you are the best and you should be proud of yourself. Keep that head held high, and don’t let those daily tasks wear you down. Get out some of those frustrations by stabbing a piece of fabric repeatedly to create the She Betta Don’t cross stitch pattern as a daily reminder to stay fierce.

This pattern is also available in the Get Sampled cross stitch pattern set.

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Sit on a Thorn cross stitch pattern
Sit on a Thorn Cross Stitch Pattern
Sit on a Thorn Cross Stitch Pattern

Have you ever wanted to “politely” tell someone what you’re really thinking? The Sit on a Thorn cross stitch and embroidery pattern might be just what you’re looking for! The snarky quote contrasts with the sparkle in the Kreinik thread and elegance of the pattern, and it’s guaranteed to generate a belly laugh from all who see your project. It can be stitched with or without the optional embroidered roses, making it perfect for both cross stitch purists and those wanting to experiment with new stitches. If you do want to stitch the pretty embroidered roses, they add a gorgeous punch of colour and texture that delight the senses. A link to a tutorial for the woven wheel roses is included in the pattern, you’ll be amazed at how simple they are. This pattern looks just as beautiful without the text stitched as well, just in case you’re making a gift for someone who doesn’t share your sense of humour. Get your snark on with the Sit on a Thorn pattern.

 

This pattern is also available in the Go Bloom Yourself cross stitch pattern set, and the Go Bloom Yourself collection pattern set (the full collection).

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Suck It cross stitch pattern
Suck It cross stitch pattern
Suck It Cross Stitch Pattern

Who doesn’t love a lollipop the size of your head? Whether you like licking, sucking, or crunching on lollipops, you can indulge your “sweet tooth” with the very cheeky Suck It cross stitch pattern. If the text isn’t to your taste, you could add in your own text with any of the cross stitch alphabet charts.

 

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Telescope mermaid cross stitch pattern
Telescope mermaid cross stitch pattern
Telescope Cross Stitch Pattern

Ah the romance of the life of a mermaid, meeting handsome sailors who happen to stumble across your rock in the middle of the ocean… Putting a slightly more “adult” twist on this age-old tale, this is the Telescope cross stitch pattern. The second of the Mermaid Tales cross stitch pattern set, this cross stitch pattern pairs sass and blingy beads with sparkly metallics. Let out your cheeky side with the Telescope cross stitch pattern.

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Adulting 101 cross stitch pattern collection set
The Adulting 101 Collection Cross Stitch Pattern Set
The Adulting 101 Collection Cross Stitch Pattern Set

If some days you’re all like, “Omg why do I have to adult today, I don’t want tooooooo……”, then congratulations, you’re an adult, and adulting is hard. The Adulting 101 Collection cross stitch pattern set will help you cope with how you’re feeling by stabbing something 20,000 times… 😂 This collection features all nine cross stitch patterns of the Adulting 101 Collection: Thin Patience, Caffeine, Vodka, No Pants, Adulthood, One to Even, More Alcohol, Adulting All Over, and Another Great Day. Please note the set does not include the Adulting 101 alphabet set. Get stabby making gifts for your loved ones, or decorating your home or office to “inspire” you to greatness…. The patterns can also be customized to suit your lifestyle, such as substituting the word “booze” for “yoga.” This cross stitch pattern set is also 25% off the regular price of buying all the patterns individually. There’s sure to be something in the collection to put a smile on your face as you’re slogging through yet another endless meeting about the agenda for the next meeting, daydreaming about your next cocktail… 😉

 

$65.99
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Thin patience cross stitch pattern
Thin Patience cross stitch pattern
Thin Patience Cross Stitch Pattern

Are you sick of people-ing and your patience is wearing oh-so-thin? Help yourself cope with the daily grind with the demotivational Thin Patience cross stitch pattern. Stab away your frustrations with this simple but poignant pattern, it’s even only using full stitches so your very thin patience doesn’t snap while you’re trying to relax and unwind.

This pattern is also available in the full Adulting 101 Collection set. 

 

$10.99
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Versailles Garden cross stitch pattern set
Brave Sir Robin cross stitch pattern
Versailles Garden Cross Stitch Pattern Set

Just can’t decide which of the Versailles Garden collection of cross stitch patterns you want? You don’t need to decide at all, you can get all four patterns for a 20% discount over buying them all individually, huzzah! The beautifully detailed cross stitch patterns are based on original watercolour and ink pen illustrations, and feature pretty backstitch and French knots for added texture and whimsy. The set of four patterns includes Brave Sir Robin, General Flapalot, Lord Fatbottom, and Marie LaTweetonette. These patterns also come with optional printable speech bubbles (some sassy, some sweet, and some blank for your own phrases) as a separate PDF so you can really make them express your current mood.

$34.99
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Vintage Sass collection cross stitch pattern set
Miserable cow funny cross stitch pattern
Vintage Sass Collection Cross Stitch Pattern Set

Just can’t decide how sassy you’re feeling today? Luckily for you, the hugely popular Vintage Sass cross stitch pattern collection is now available as an entire set! You’re getting ten patterns in all (the collection’s alphabet charts are not included), and you’re saving 25% by purchasing the entire collection instead of each pattern individually. Included patterns are Miserable Cow, Maybe Wine Will Help, Sarcasm, Just Say No, Get Ducked, Stitch & Drink Wine, So Much Nope, That’s What She Said, No More Ducks, and Sexy Chick. Individual pattern details are included in the “pattern details” tab below. Get your sassy stabby groove on with the Vintage Sass cross stitch pattern collection.

not rated $70.99
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Vodka cross stitch pattern
Vodka cross stitch pattern
Vodka Cross Stitch Pattern

Ah yes, vodka. Whether you enjoy drinking vodka or not, the Vodka cross stitch pattern reminds you that we all have those days. We can all relate to the feeling of wanting something to help us get through that oh-so-boring mandatory meeting at work, or the pain of your kid’s school Christmas concert when you just want to remove your ears from your body… This pattern also has a substitution for the word vodka (in case wine is more your style), or you can add in any text of your choice with any of the cross stitch alphabet patterns. Adulting is hard, but you don’t need to let it drive you to drink if you can unwind by stabbing the simple Vodka cross stitch pattern instead.

This pattern is also available in the full Adulting 101 Collection set. 

 

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Yer Arse and Parsley cross stitch pattern hoop
Yer Arse and Parsley cross stitch pattern no text
Yer Arse and Parsley Cross Stitch Pattern

Elegant, sophisticated, snarky… what could be better than that. The gorgeous spring-like mint and peach tones in the Yer Arse and Parsley cross stitch pattern belies the meaning of the text, which is a Scottish insult translating roughly to, “You’re talking shit.” The phrase can be used to make your own exclamations of frustration more colourful, or for those more sensitive you could say it’s an inspirational phrase promoting a healthy whole diet … 😂 This Jacobean-era inspired cross stitch pattern also features sparkling Japan Threads in a glorious copper, as well as shiny copper beads. If the text isn’t to your taste for the pattern, you could add in your own text with any of the cross stitch alphabet charts, or you could stitch the pattern without the text, there’s an example photograph showing what it looks like without text. And if you’re not sure what Japan Threads are, you can check out this free video tutorial. 😊

This design is also available as a downloadable cellphone wallpaper, printable gift tags, and printable art. They can be purchased individually or as a set, or the Mega Bundle with all downloadable products and all the Cheeky Wee Lass cross stitch patterns is also available. Just the Cheeky Wee Lass cross stitch patterns are also available as a set.

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Yiv a Face cross stitch pattern hoop
Yiv a Face cross stitch pattern no text
Yiv a Face Cross Stitch Pattern

The Yiv a Face cross stitch pattern is as cheeky as it is luscious and elegant. The gorgeous Jacobean-era inspired botanicals are enhanced by the shimmering copper Japan Threads and copper beads scattered across the wreath. The text “Yiv a face like a skelpit erse” is a Doric Scottish insult, and translates to “You have a face like a smacked a$s.” If the text isn’t to your taste for the pattern, you could add in your own text with any of the cross stitch alphabet charts, or you could stitch the pattern without the text, there’s an example photograph showing what it looks like without text. And if you’re not sure what Japan Threads are, you can check out this free video tutorial. 😊

This design is also available as a downloadable cellphone wallpaper, printable gift tags, and printable art. They can be purchased individually or as a set, or the Mega Bundle with all downloadable products and all the Cheeky Wee Lass cross stitch patterns is also available. Just the Cheeky Wee Lass cross stitch patterns are also available as a set.

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Zero Fronds Given cross stitch pattern
Zero Fronds Given cross stitch pattern detail
Zero Fronds Given Cross Stitch Pattern

Do you ever have days when you run out of fronds, and you just have no more fronds to give? Zero Fronds Given is a fun and sassy cross stitch pattern that helps you “check in” to remind yourself that this too shall pass. This cheeky phrase is subtle enough your boss won’t get mad if you hang it in your office, but snarky enough you’ll have a laugh every time you look at it. The beautiful teals and purples contrasting against the golden oranges is pleasing to the eye, and adds a punch of vibrant colour to your decor. A spray of French knots across the pattern creates a gorgeous texture and adds a lovely touch of whimsy. This pattern can even be stitched without the text, the floral wreath looks beautiful just on its own. No matter what’s happening in your day, the Zero Fronds Given cross stitch pattern will remind you that it’s perfectly acceptable to pick and choose what you spend your energy on.

 

This pattern is also available in the Go Bloom Yourself cross stitch pattern set, and the Go Bloom Yourself collection pattern set (the full collection).

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Drink Wine cross stitch set
Maybe Wine Will Help wine cross stitch pattern
Drink Wine Cross Stitch Pattern Set

If you love to come home after a hard day at work and enjoy a lovely glass of wine, these wine cross stitch patterns will inspire you to relax all day long! This set features the lovely Stitch & Drink Wine and Maybe Wine Will Help cross stitch patterns. These two beautiful vintage-inspired cross stitch patterns will be an elegant sassy statement piece in any decor. You can display them at home or as a tongue-in-cheek “reminder” at the office for when your wine is out of reach. Stitch your worries away with the beautiful cheeky Drink Wine cross stitch pattern set!
As seen in Cross Stitch Crazy

$15.99
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I'm so glam cross stitch patterns funny inspirational sayings
Too Glam snarky cross stitch
I’m So Glam Cross Stitch Pattern Set

Need “assistance” in expressing what you’re really thinking? Let loose with the funny inspirational sayings in the I’m So Glam Set of cross stitch patterns! This set features the exquisite Too Glam to Give a Damn pattern and the spectacularly sassy I’m Fabulous pattern. Get inspired to be your best self with this elegant cross stitch pattern set!

$15.99
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Get Ducks cross stitch pattern set funny needllepoint
Get Ducked subversive cross stitch pattern funny needlepoint
Get Ducks Cross Stitch Pattern Set

If you’re just fresh out of ducks and need some more, then this funny needlepoint set is perfect for you! This set of cross stitch patterns includes the Get Ducked and the No More Ducks cross stitch patterns. This set makes the perfect home decor for that rustic country vibe, or if you just happen to love waterfowl. These sassy patterns feature lovely calm shades of blues and aquas, and are sure to become statement pieces in any home or office decor. Never run out of ducks again with this funny needlepoint set!

$15.99
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Lets fly inspirational cross stitch patterns set
I believe I can fly cross stitch pattern
Let’s Fly Cross Stitch Pattern Set

Just can’t get enough sparkle and sass in your life? Maybe the Let’s Fly Set of inspirational cross stitch patterns will satisfy your needs! This set features the gorgeously elegant Queen Bee pattern and the tongue-in-cheek I Believe I Can Fly pattern. Get airborne with this fun cross stitch pattern set today!

$13.99
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Be the flamingo cross stitch pattern
Be the flamingo cross stitch pattern
Be the Flamingo Cross Stitch Pattern

Have you ever had those moments when you feel like you’ve been stuck out in the middle of a lawn, all alone? Instead of feeling self-conscious, celebrate your uniqueness with this fun flamingo cross stitch pattern! With the beautiful baroque-inspired gold frame, and the lovely vibrant pink tones, this pattern is sure to become a family favourite! Stand out from the crowd, tell those pigeons to get lost, and remind yourself to show off your unique beauty with this joyful pattern.
As seen in Cross Stitch Crazy

 

 

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Miserable cow funny cross stitch pattern
Miserable Cow funny cross stitch pattern
Miserable Cow Cross Stitch Pattern

Do you have “special” people in your life who take joy in seeing the negative in any situation? Need a little reminder to be the best version of yourself? This funny cross stitch pattern can help! It’s the perfect gift for someone in your life who needs a little nudge, and decorates your home or office with style and humour. Based on a vintage illustration, this pattern reminds us all to not take life so seriously. It’s always better to be the sparkly unicorn, and not the miserable cow! Get started on this funny cross stitch pattern today!

$10.99
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Royal Wedding cross stitch pattern
Royal Wedding cross stitch pattern
Royal Wedding Cross Stitch Pattern

Get ready to celebrate like royalty with the gorgeous Royal Wedding cross stitch pattern! This resplendent pattern comes with two alphabets, making it the perfect personalized gift for your loved ones. It’s ideal for those with a sense of humour, the cheeky phrase at the bottom refers to the tradition of intermarriage between royal families. Of course, it can be simply omitted if desired, making it appropriate for any bridal couple no matter their sense of humour. The pattern can even be easily adapted for same-sex couples by mixing and matching the crowns. This wedding cross stitch pattern features two metallic flosses and three bead colours, which brings an elegant glamour to any decor. It will be cherished for years to come, and bring back many fond memories. Celebrate the wedding of two fabulous people with the cheeky nobility of the Royal Wedding cross stitch pattern.

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Bow Before Me birthday cross stitch pattern
Bow Before Me birthday cross stitch pattern options
Bow Before Me Cross Stitch Pattern

You’ll never have to wonder what to give for a gift ever again with this elegantly sassy birthday cross stitch pattern. Not only does Bow Before Me make a perfect birthday gift, this pattern also comes with three extra options for the top of the pattern (I’m the bride, I’m the mom, I’m the queen). With four options to choose from, you could stitch this pattern multiple times as the ideal cheeky gift! This gorgeous pattern showcases four colours of beads and one gorgeous gold metallic floss, which adds a dash of nobility and elegance to this sassy phrase. A limited colour palette means it’s simple to stitch up and showcases the beautiful luminosity in the beads and metallic floss. Let your royal sassiness out and stitch up this gloriously fun cross stitch pattern.

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Count me baby sheep cross stitch pattern
Count me baby sheep cross stitch pattern
Count Me Baby Cross Stitch Pattern

Do you have trouble sleeping, or have too many things whirring around your head? Maybe this fun sheep cross stitch pattern will help! It’s a common belief that counting sheep will help soothe your mind and help you drift away, but it’s possible you’ll be giggling yourself to sleep with the cheeky meme “Count me baby, all night long.” This pretty pattern is perfect for that rustic glam look, and can add a splash of elegance to any decor. Whether you make this pattern for yourself or for a friend, it is sure to be a great discussion piece!

not rated $10.99
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